We all know one. The topper.
That person in class who always seems one step (or several steps) ahead —
perfect notes, quick answers, consistent grades, and mysterious ability to look calm during finals.
And then there’s you —
trying to stay afloat, wondering if you’re broken because trigonometry looks like Martian,
and you just discovered the assignment due tomorrow.
It’s easy to start spiralling into comparison mode.
So let’s break down:
- Why we do this,
- Why it’s dangerous, and
- How to finally stop.
Why We Compare?
(Even When We Know We Shouldn’t):
Humans are wired to compare. It’s part of how we understand ourselves —
Am I doing okay?
Is my pace normal?
But in academics, this wiring can backfire. Badly.
Especially in competitive environments like schools, boards, entrance exams, or universities,
“better than” starts to feel like “worth more than.” And that’s where trouble begins.
What begins as “I want to improve” often morphs into:
“They’re better than me.”
“I’ll never catch up.”
“What’s the point?”
And if you’re not careful, you’re no longer trying to grow.
You’re just trying to catch up to a moving target that’s never going to slow down.
Why Comparing to Toppers is a Trap:
Let’s put it bluntly: you’re not even seeing the full picture.
You might see:
- Great marks
- Neat notes
- Active class participation
- Confident answers
But you don’t see:
- The stress they’re hiding
- The hours they study alone
- The help they might be getting from coaching
- The pressure they feel to always be on top
- The late-night breakdowns, self-doubt, or burnout
Toppers are not flawless superheroes.
They’re students — like you — with strengths and struggles.
Comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel is not just unfair — it’s simply self-sabotage.
What It Actually Costs You:
Let’s get serious for a second.
Chronic comparison can lead to:
- Study paralysis (You keep thinking you’re behind, so you stop trying altogether.)
- Imposter syndrome (You feel like a fraud, even when you’re doing well.)
- Stress and anxiety (Constant “I’m not enough” thoughts.)
- Burnout (Trying to keep up with others without listening to your own limits.)
- Disinterest in learning (Because the joy of it gets buried under the weight of someone else’s scoreboard.)
Basically? It kills your why.
And when your motivation shifts from “I want to learn” to “I want to beat them“,
you burn out faster — and care less about your own growth.
How to Break Out of the Comparison Cycle?
Here comes the actionable stuff. Ready?
-
Start Measuring Backward, Not Sideways
Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to your past self.- Were you more consistent this week than last?
- Did you finally understand that tough topic?
- Did you stick to your plan (even 70%)?
Those are wins. Celebrate them.
-
Define Your Goals — Not Theirs
Not everyone needs a 99.8% or a rank in JEE to live a meaningful life. Ask yourself:- What do I want from my studies?
- What’s my idea of success — not society’s?
Once you define your own lane, it’s easier to stop deviating into someone else’s.
-
Track Effort, Not Outcome
Grades matter.
But consistency, focus, and learning mindset matter more in the long run.
Use a study journal or tracker to log:- Hours studied
- Topics covered
- Obstacles overcome
This reinforces your journey instead of comparing your chapter 3 to someone else’s chapter 10.
-
Limit Social Media Triggers
Topper content — “How I scored 99% while sleeping 2 hours and eating almonds” — can be toxic if you’re already struggling.
Try:- Following creators who talk about realistic student life
- Taking breaks from school-related accounts
- Using social media for breaks, not benchmarking
-
Talk It Out
Sometimes, the best way to crush comparison is to talk to the topper.
You’ll be surprised — many are humble, stressed, or even lonely because people assume they don’t need help.
Also talk to:- Friends
- Mentors
- Teachers
You’re not alone — and you don’t have to figure everything out solo.
-
Use Toppers for Strategy, Not Self-Blame
Instead of comparing marks, observe:- Their study strategies
- Note-taking methods
- How they revise or explain concepts
Then adapt — don’t copy blindly.
You’re different. Your brain works differently. Take what fits and leave the rest.
-
Practice Self-Compassion Like It’s a Study Skill
You wouldn’t insult a friend who got a 75%, would you?
So don’t insult yourself.
Try saying:- “I’m still learning. That’s okay.”
- “I improved from last time.”
- “One test doesn’t define my value.”
Because it doesn’t.
-
Revisit Your Wins Regularly
Make a WINS list:- A topic you finally understood
- A paper you felt good about
- A study week where you stayed consistent
Review this when the comparison monster shows up. It reminds you that you’re progressing, even if you’re not “first.”
Final Thought:
The Topper Is Not Your Competition — Your Stagnation Is
Here’s the truth: There’s always going to be someone ahead of you. That’s life.
But that’s not the point of the game.
Your real goal is to be a better version of who you were last week — not a carbon copy of someone else.
So study hard. Stay curious. Improve steadily. And let the toppers top — while you build something better: Your Own Path